Bittersweet

It's the beginning of another new adventure.  I am incredibly excited to be the new K-12 School Counselor at my old school, but also nervous.  It will be a transitional period of many new firsts, but there is no place that I would rather be.  When I walked through the hallways to reach the office for my interview last week, it felt like walking back home.  It was the most comfortable I have felt going to an interview, knowing that I was in a familiar environment and going to be with kind faces - many of which have been there as I have grown up.  It feels very "right" to be returning to begin my career at the origin of the dream.

But when I think of leaving Madison, the heart strings pull.  This city is my favorite.  In my life thus far it has served as a launching pad - where I come to get organized and then depart once my new path has presented itself.

So many emotions, so many thoughts.  But I know in my heart I'm doing the right thing.  I just hope and pray that the boyfriend and my love can withstand the distance.  It's going to be a challenge but I have faith that we can make it work.  What is meant to be always will, we can't control it but just show up, breathe, and do our best.

as long as you love me ...

<3

Heading north today for the big interview tomorrow. Is my life about to change completely again?

Givin' it up to God (& the Goddesses !)
 xoxo

12 Days

This is what I'm dreaming of right now.  This was a wonderful mid morning hour of pure bliss spent kayaking on Lake Superior with my Ma.  No worries, no cares.  Just us, the breeze, sunshine and the water (which was surprisingly a perfect temperature!). 

Today is day 12 of another 14 day stretch of work.  Funny how my last day off was driving back down to Madison, and my next day off I'll be driving north again.

I have an interview folks.  It's the next step.  And that's all I can concentrate on now.  I'm just trying to stay present and focus on the moment.  Not letting my thoughts carry my mind away with the "What ifs" and "What thens" - if indeed those are separate thoughts, but what I'm attempting to get at is there's a lot of unanswered questions looming in my mind that I just don't want to tackle- yet.

Besides getting the call for the interview, my day involved another event worth mentioning. I took a step towards hanging up my bra measuring tape.  In other words, I told the store that I can no longer give it anymore of my energy.  This was HUGE for me.  I'm not sure if I ever believed I would actually go through with it and say I'm finished.  Even though "our" new store is going to be gorgeous! working there just doesn't serve me anymore and I don't have the energy to give to it.  I can't remember the last time I honestly felt any sort of enjoyment there. At one point I can remember feeling appreciated and that what I was doing mattered, but those days are long past.  

That was the first time I actually quit a job because I no longer wished to be there.  All the other positions I've had have come to an end because of me relocating.  So it felt liberating to stick up for myself and say I've had enough!  I lasted nearly four years and met many amazing (and many not so amazing!) people along the way.  It served me well until it didn't, and there isn't much that I will miss about it.

Listen to you body

So in yoga they tell us to listen to our bodies.  Well I wanted to go to yoga tonight, and I almost did.  But my body was just saying no.  My arms were saying please no more chaturangas! And my legs were saying we did too many downward dogs yesterday.  So I thought I'd just go down to the little gym at the apartment and take it easy, but when I got to the door and saw two people in there... I turned around.  That wasn't what my body wanted either.  Instead here I sit - with my feet up on the coffee table watching True Blood. (Anyone else not really impressed with this season?)

I am exhausted! I set my alarm early to go for a run before it got hot - before I was too tired. But the BF literally would not let me get out of bed.  He seems to enjoy practicing his MMA holds on me in bed not allowing me to get up.  Not knowing when my next day off will be is not too energizing either.

Via Pinterest!

Also, I took a chance today.


I applied to the school counselor position at my old school.  Am I ready to live back up north, away from humanity in the woods? I'm not sure.  But maybe I won't even have to make that decision. It would be a challenge - being K-12, but I know I have it in me.  I'm tired of having to bust my ass at three part time jobs to just make it by.  As much as I enjoy living in the moment and the now - I'm going to have to start planning for the future.  Wouldn't it be nice to actually make enough money to SAVE?!

I have nothing to lose at this point.  I just knew I couldn't pass up the opportunity to at least apply for the job which I always envisioned myself in from the beginning - before my disappointing high school internship.

Heavy Sigh

Back from vacation. It was wonderful, awesome, amazing, all those wonderful adjectives to describe a great time with family and friends.  I saw so many friends that I hadn't seen in way too long and it was fantastic!

How come whenever you think you have life all planned and all figured out it throws you a curve ball?
What's that quote "Life is what happens when you're making other plans"? Is that it?

So I got back from vacation ready to be back in the Madison groove, excited to meet with my new school people and sign paper work when I heard news...

That the school counseling position at my old K-12 school was open. Wasn't that always my dream? Well it was at one point.  I love being home my family is there, my heart is there.

But I love my Madison and I love my BF and our little life we've been creating together.  Today was our three month anniversary but it feels like so much longer :)

Am I ready to move back to the woods? Is that truly what I want to be at the school where I learned that I wanted to work with kids? Where my first idea of being a school counselor developed? It's full time - it's home.  I think I have to at least apply - maybe it will be a mute point, but maybe another adventure...

And yes I know that was a bit of a ramble, but I had to get it out. I'm at work right now - just waiting for yoga classes to be over for the night so I can crawl into bed and be back here at dawn! I love it here but not having to work weekends to survive sure would be nice... 
 xoxox

Mind Body Spirit

Yesterday I started Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation Challenge. So I may have started a day late, but I started nevertheless! I'm excited.  Ever since a winter grad school class in mindfulness, I've attempted to incorporate meditating into my daily weekly practice. While now may not be the best time to start a challenge of this sort before I go on vacation, I'm okay with that.  But I will do it - however modified I will complete.

Working at a yoga studio where I have access to taking free classes is something that I'm definitely loving right now.  Yoga has been something that I've dabbled in since graduating high school.  In college, I took two very different classes.  One with an instructor that I really enjoyed, and another class which I ended up dreading going to and often skipped.  Instructors to me make a huge difference! And location, I'll admit the closer my location to something the harder it is to pass it up.

All of the instructors at Dragonfly are incredible.  I appreciate each of their unique styles and personalities.  And each time I leave class I feel better than when I rolled out my mat.  Yoga is refreshing, and when it's hot, even more so to me.  There's something so rewarding about seeing sweat beading down my legs.  I leave class feeling strong and cleansed.  Cleansed of whatever negativity I encountered in my day, or thoughts that entered my head.  I love the challenge of trying new poses.

Last Summer a Tree Pose to honor Lake Superior

I'm also currently reading Dr. Wayne Dyer's 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.  Sometimes he can be a little too "God-y" for my enjoyment, but so far I'm really liking this one.

I may have lost some focus with this post, but bottom line - I've been taking time to focus on myself. Taking responsibility for my inner peace, my attitude, my own happiness.  I feel wonderful (and I'm sure being in love has something to do with that too!!)

Day 11

Today is my 11th straight day of working in a row.  Now granted I haven't been working a full 8 hrs every day, but the point is .. I'm ready for a full day off all to myself with sleeping in.  Yesterday I got home from work at 10pm and had to be back there at 4:50am.  That just isn't enough rest for a girl like me.  My day off will be Saturday! And I couldn't be more excited. My favorite time of the year is on the horizon :)

But first I have a friend's wedding to attend Friday night!

Me & Shanny!! (2007??)

I met Shannon my very first day at college, as we lived on the same floor in the dorms.  I haven't seen her since I graduated in 2007 but am very much looking forward to our mini college reunion with our bunch of friends.

Then Saturday I will be heading north from the Twin Cities to go home.  Hopefully meeting up with my dear friend Lyndsie along the way for a morning latte.  Girl moved back from Colorado months ago and I haven't seen her since she's been back :( Sometimes I wonder how fabulous it would be if all my besties lived in the same city.  I honestly don't know what I would do with myself!

And when I finally reach my destination of Home - all of my family should be waiting for me :)  Every year my cousins rent out a cabin and come north for a week of relaxation and partying on the lake.  I'm so excited to see everyone again.  I've been missing being home so much and cannot wait to just be on a boat, with a cocktail, my flippy floppys and all my loved ones!!

Most of the crew with our annual shot